Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Begone !!!


Performed to the tune of "Call Me Maybe" 

( Sara Liz )

This morn, the sun didn't shine
It's like a bad nursery rhyme
The clocks all stopped keeping time
And now you're in my way

I'd pulled a wish from a well
With just a ring of a bell
But it had come straight from hell
And now you're in my way

          You claim that I owe you
          Things that I must now do
          If I ever hope to
          Stop this Armageddon, maybe

                    Hey! This is crazy!
                    And I just met you
                    You ate my boyfriend
                    Begone Cthulu

                    And as I look around
                    I also see you
                    Devoured my family
                    Begone Cthulu




I'd simply wanted a way
To make that other girl pay
For all the trouble she'd caused
But this was the wrong play

Did I mis-translate a line?
I thought I'd done it just fine
But now it's reckoning time
And there's a debt to pay

           You are like a bad dream
           I am just a prom queen
           Still, from what I have seen
           You need to go bye bye baby

                    Hey! I'm no warrior
                    But it's me or you
                    Just leave my planet
                    Begone Cthulu

                    And all the Gamer Boys
                    Who drooled about you
                    Are now uniting
                    Against Cthulu

( Caylian Curtis as Action Girl Kathy Lee )

                              Since you came into my life
                              It all is so sad
                              It all is so sad
                              It's all been so so sad

                              And all the things that you have done
                              Have made me so mad
                              They've made me so mad
                              They've made me so so mad

                    Yes. All the Demi Gods
                    Who'd said they loved you
                    Now stand united
                    Against Cthulu

                    I'm just a party girl
                    But it's me or you
                    Now leave this planet
                    Begone Cithulu

                              Now you're banished from our world
                              And we are so glad
                              Yes we are so glad
                              Oh we are so so glad

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Stripperfest: 2013 (Updated)


One of the minor perils involved in seeking out venues that offer interesting Adult Entertainment is that you can occasionally find yourself surrounded by individuals who wouldn't know how to act like an adult if their lives depended on it. During the past three decades, I've walked into a strip club or two where the people in the audience would cause the creatures in a Zombie Movie to seem less threatening by comparison.

I am quite happy to say that this has not been my experience during either of my two visits to On The Border, a top notch Exotic Entertainment Club located on the outskirts of Franklin, Wisconsin. If you have a reason to be near the areas of Chicago or Milwaukee ... And you enjoy taking in an evening that contains a solid dose of Erotic Panache ... You just might want to spend a few hours being embraced by the delightful and flirtatious arms and legs of Club OTB.


On the weekend of September 28 & 29, On The Border will be presenting Stripperfest 12, this year's incarnation of their high quality performance competition, which regularly draws in top name talent from across the United States and other parts of the world. During the past few years, what had started as a single evening talent event, has gradually evolved into a weekend performance extravaganza.

This year's version of Stripperfest will include at least three distinct categories of competition, with prizes awarded for each division.

          * Queen of the Pole

          * Queen of the Stage

          * Princess of the Stage



Artemis  Moon

If you're not quite certain of what the difference would be between a Pole Competition and a Stage Competition ... Please allow me to draw a line of distinction for you.

When it comes to Pole Dancing ... The entire situation is all about the Dancer performing a well choreographed routine that involves using the Pole as her partner. Each contestant needs to have the dance skills, muscle tone and strength of will that are necessary for the task of completely wrapping her body around a 12 foot high lolly pop stick and forcing both it and the audience to beg for mercy. At the end of her dance set ... If the Lovely Lady has done her job correctly ... Jaws will have dropped and Minds will have been totally blown.

Stage Performing is good deal more about the flirting and the acting. This is a craft that draws a bit of its DNA from the Old Style Burlesque that has been making a comeback during the past couple of decades.

          A Shake ...
          A Turn ...
          A Shimmy ...
          A Wink ...
          A Thrust ...
          A Smile ...

A skillfully composed fantasy, where the Pretty Girl's actions and behavior hand the members of the audience a not so subtle promise. A message that what you're seeing on stage is merely the beginning of what this enticing creature would be able to provide at some future point in time. She wants to make it absolutely clear that she'll be saving all her love and kisses ...

               Just for you ...

                                                        And you ...

                                                                                                And you too, Sweetheart.

            Dakota Skye                                        Ryan Ashley                                               Sondra Saxon

The Stage Princess division is a completely new category for this year. According to General Manager Brian Hopkins ...

We've decided to give the Hottest Stripper category a rest this time around, in order to make way for our new Princess of the Stage division. The Princess category is our attempt at being a bit more inviting towards the ladies that are new to this industry. It provides a competitive opportunity to hone their skills in a division that isn't placing them against award winning dancers who already have a few years of experience.


One relative newcomer that I'm looking forward to seeing again is the beautiful and talented Artemis Moon. The young woman walked away with top honors at Stripper Rama this past July ... Performing her way to at least 4 awards (including Best In Competition).  She greatly impressed the judges panel (which included Dakota Skye, Ryan Ashley and my good friend Sondra Saxon) by out performing at least a half dozen more experienced dancers.

I'm very interested to see if any of these other girls will show up at StripperFest to make this a rematch. Healthy competition often leads to some of the most enjoyable entertainment.

***  INFORMATION  UPDATE  ***

Saturday will feature rounds 1 & 2 for Queen Of The Pole. It will also be round 1 for Queen Of The Stage.

In addition to being the finals for Pole Queen and Stage Queen, Sunday will be the opportunity for up and coming talent to have their shot at Princess Of The Stage.

One final note ...
I am happy to announce that I have been invited to be the S.G.B. for the event. Brian has assured me that S.G.B. is the acronym for "Special Guest Blogger". This did a great deal to easy my troubled mind, since years of listening to all my Kentucky relatives ranting about SEC College Basketball had left me with the impression that it stood for Slimy Georgia .....

As the S.G.B., I've had the privilege of having a sneak peak at the preliminary contestant list. While I'm not allowed to mention any names, I can say that it was an impressive assortment of talent. With the fact that certain contestants like to show up at the last possible moment (in order to try and catch the competition off guard) Stripperfest Weekend holds the potential for being Musical Theatre equivalent of a No Holds Bared Cage Match.

I'll be back to report the results just as quickly as I know them.

To learn more about the Club and the Event ...  Please click on the link below.




* I will attempt to add additional updates to this article as the time draws near and the Performer list becomes more solid. Due to the possibility of receiving a very lucrative "Last Minute Offer", a Dancer's event schedule can quickly go through several days of changes in the matter of only a few hours.)

** With the exception of Artemis Moon, all pictures shown in this review are the property of On The Border or the Performers that are being referred to.

Travis  Clemmons