Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The best Girlfriend I've Never Had

In the Summer of 2000, I'd recently been drug through a divorce.

While I wasn't the one who'd pushed the issue and filed the papers ... I also wasn't the one who'd spent the previous four years being loving and attentive and devoted while the other half of the partnership had been stuck in a downward spiral.

And just as I was beginning the process of leaving that soul sucking job and taking other measures to turn my life around ... Cally had come to the conclusion that I'd never be able to turn things around. And so she left.

Eighteen months later, just as I was getting my life back to something resembling normal, my mother unexpectedly died. Which meant that I found myself going right into another several months of emotional confusion.

In the middle of all of this, I'd wound up establishing an odd friendship with a Dancer by the name of Sondra Saxon. She was working at the Deja Vu in Lexington Kentucky. And unlike most of the other girls, she quickly saw that a part of me was broken and she took the time to become a small part of the fix.  By taking the time to actually be my friend.

Sondra could see that what I most needed was to simply sit at my table and watch the stage. Just get lost in what was taking place up there.

She'd come by my table. I'd buy her a drink. And we'd sit there and talk about the dancers for a few minutes.

What each girl was doing right and wrong.

What changes we'd like to see a girl make to her outfit.

And she made sure to spread the word to all the other Dancers that they weren't supposed to hustle me. If they did ... They'd wind up having a problem with her.

Just go to his table.

If he finds you interesting, he'll offer to buy you a drink.

Spend a few minutes talking with him about the girl on stage. And if he really wants a Table Dance or a Couch Dance ... He'll ask you for it.

And if he doesn't ask for a dance ... Just finish your drink and give him a hug and then move on.

Between 2000 and 2003 ... Sondra clearly understood that I had a bit of money ... And that I desperately needed a shoulder to lean on ... And it would have been very easy for some pretty little Vixen to sink her claws into me and drain away a lot of cash.

And she never allowed that to happen.

Sondra and I wound up becoming friends on My Space and Facebook.

We talked about a lot of the things that were going on in my life and her life.

And she often joked with me that I was the best boyfriend she'd never had.

After I'd met and married K ... She and Sondra would occasionally conspire against me. And Sondra once confided in K that there had been at least a half dozen times when she was about 2 molecules away from asking me out. But she always talked herself out of it because she didn't want to do anything that might possibly screw up the friendship she had with me.

That was what she most wanted from me.

That was what she was best able to give back.

So I dedicate this article to anyone who has ever had the privilege of knowing Sondra Saxon / Lisa Lowry.

The Absolute Best Girlfriend I Have Never Had.

Travis Clemmons


  1. Dude, are you serious? LOL, she spent time with you talking about how other dancers danced on stage and what they did wrong on stage including putting down what they wore. If you never spent money on her she would have never been your friend as you say. She was married the entire time to! I have known her for years. She was mean to a lot of the dancers there that never did anything to her. I knew a few she was mean to. I just moved back to Lexington and was told about her death. Its very sad and I hate that happened to such a young lady but that doesn't take away the fact she was snotty and arrogant and thought she was better than people and dancers. Instead of put them down for the way they dance or what they wore behind the backs of all of them why didn't she help them out like any other professional would do. I know because she was afraid they might do better than her there. In Gods eyes none of us is better than any one so for you to say that she sat with you and talked about how the dancers danced wrong and wrong things they wore says a lot. Even before you coming into your money as you say above if you hadn't spent any money on her but buying a drink she would have never been your friend. I bet she didn't tell you she was married either. Like I said I have known her for years and all these years she's been married to the same guy I know that personally I think he could have got a lot better than her. He is nice guy whom she never put on any of her many social networking sites. A person shouldn't get married if they have to hide and lie about their husband. What kind of marriage is that? Even better, what kind of person lies about that. Why don't they just stay single. Guys like you I feel sorry for. You fall in love with any girl who says they would have gave you a chance (and really wouldn't have) they just didn't want to ruin the friendship. Give me a break! This lady really pulled the wool over your eyes. It is sad what happened to her though, I hope she didn't suffer,no one deserves to die as I heard the way she did.

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