- - - Information Update - - -
All photos which have been credited in this article as "Python University Productions" were courteously provided by Erebus Photo. During the initial publication of the article ... Erebus Photo was functioning under an "Exclusive Rights Agreement" with another organization. So I was unable to properly credit the Photographer at that point in time.
If anyone ever asks my opinion about Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) or Matrix Revolutions (2003) ... I'll usually hand them the following answer.
On it's own ... It's actually a pretty good movie. But it's a rather poor sequel to an already established product. And the reason for this is that it basically sidesteps the reality that was created in the previous set of stories.
But this is supposed to be my review of the dance performance of Ryan Ashley in the 2014 edition of the Grand Prix of Exotic Dance. So let me get down to talking about the pretty girl and I'll swing back around to the Sci Fi babbling later on.
In order to properly compete in a contest like GPED ...
You have to be reasonably Attractive.
Ryan Ashley is Incredibly Beautiful.
- B -
You have to be Talented.
Ryan Ashley is at the top of the Talent Hill.
- C -
You have to have a complete bag full of Strategies.
When a competitor adds a new and different spin to the game ... You have to be able to present a strategy which negates what they've just done by showcasing your talents in an even better way. And this is where Ryan unfortunately came up a step short at the Grand Prix of Exotic dance.
On Friday night ... In the preliminary round ... Everyone came in essentially blind. While it's true that some of the dancers might have crossed paths before, at club bookings or at other competitions, no one knew the total story on anyone that particular evening.
Had A changed her hair color?
Had B learned some intriguing yoga moves and poses?
Had C come up with a costume idea?
And so on and so forth.
In that evenings competition ... Ryan was quite Lovely and incredibly Hilarious. Her Wind Up Doll routine was a joy to behold and she transitioned effortlessly into an impressive Pole Dance Session and then a delightfully erotic Milk Bath. Everything fit perfectly from stem to stern. Not a single loose nut or bolt in any part of the construction.
Then came Saturday Evening's Final Round ... And her opening totally knocked me out of my chair. This Ogre of a man carried a kicking and clawing Ryan Ashley onto the platform and callously tossed the girl into a cage.
All masked and bound up in tight black leather ... A frantic and psychotic Ryan Ashley threw herself against the bars and snarled at the audience as she struggled to gain her freedom.
Freedom brought with it the opportunity to do an equally tormented Pole Performance. And I found myself waiting in rapped anticipation as I wondered what was going to happen next.
Which is when she faltered and fell into her own personal Matrix Revolutions conundrum.
Ryan ended that evening's performance with a Paint Bath. Essentially a repeat of the previous evening's Milk bath. And while it was a lovely and sensual presentation ... It totally killed the tormentedly erotic mood that had been building during the previous several minutes.
Not a bad routine at all.
Simply an improper sequel to the Psychotic Bitch Queen in a Cage who had been turning up the pressure cooker and causing our adrenalin to push us along at full blast during the first two parts of her Saturday Evening Presentation.
In my sincere opinion ... Act III needed to be even more Nut Case Fingernails on the Chalkboard Crazy than the first two parts ... But she avoided going there.
And that was what robbed Ryan Ashley of her best chance at taking first place at GPED. At the very point when she should have been turning up the fire under the Pressure Cooker ... Ryan made the mistake of turning it down a notch. An unfortunate error that caused her to finish in Third Place instead of First or Second.
Having handed Ryan Ashley this bit of criticism ... I can't wait to see the Lovely Lady perform again.